Friday, September 17, 2004


It has been long enough since I last wrote here. Much of this time I have spent stressfully gathering the remains of my life in Santa Cruz and transferring them back to Mexico.

I am at an internet cafe, with little to do, in my family's hometown. I wait for the rain to cease.

There is a wonderful symmetry about it, how the calm can return and I can write again, because it was long ago (or maybe not so) that I thought, only pain can bring the artist in me, only sorrow can make the world worth it. But life is back where it should , even though the last months have been quite stressful and relating all that DID happen would be too much.

I've started school again, with a very good chance of actually pulling through despite all the revalidation issues.

I've started realizing that the normality in life that had been so precious to me in Santa Cruz can be kept, can remain. That I can still love school and my mother and try and be responsible. That I can do... maybe whatever I want to do.

Except writing. I've been drawing so much lately that it's frustrating, because I know and the world knows that in reality my true talent lies in the written word. An other thing I have been doing a lot of lately is reading, which might do something to explain why I can't seem to get any thoughts out. For know it's a process of getting thoughts in.

I like working and I like being here, this town is... well perfect for deep thought, perfect for working. Nothing to interrupt the steady flow of the greater conciousness. Nothing to disturb me. and I do thank my mother for bringing me, even though she thinks I don't.

I'll try to keep writing of whatever catches my fancy here, because there are little things of the past months I still have to tell, whenever they come to me. Just knwo I remember I went to see The Cure in concert, and I had the urge to write how important that was for me, how ery very important music is to me and what it means and what it is.

It'll have to wait, it's getting late and cold, and it looks like the rain.

Till later.

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