Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is
concerned that it may not get a second term.
Therefore, we are going to change the rules so
that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2
votes because Democrat is a shorter word than

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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Today I, unable to catch Virginia on the way out of schoo I resigned myself to walk home. Not an hour ago I was stopped by one of our neighbors who was watering his garden. I had often before stopped by his garden to pet his cat.

We talked for some time, mostly he did, I stood in the cold spring sunlight listening in awe. He had lived in Sata Cruz since he was born. He was 58. He could remember our street when a large part of it was still pasture. His house and mine and some three others had been built by the same architect. He spoke Japanese fluently and a few words of Spanish. There were other languages but I did not catch them. He had been a professor at the UCSC and married to a Japanese-American linguist who my mother probably knows.

It was a pleasure talking to him.

I also found a girl from my Art Class on the bus from school. We talked a bit about the surrealist proyect.

Virginia said I was popular because I knew so many people.

And it struck me with a sudden force that I did. That my life had changed so mucho and that I have had not a single all consuming passion for a long time. i have had not ONE single type of friend but many. I have Gin and Marissa and Justin and I have Maya P and Maya B and Adam and I talk to all the people in my classes and I am not... alone.

What will I do when I get back to Mexico? I want to! I need to... but I don't want to loose this. I don't want to focus all attention on one group. I want the friends I treasure, those who understand me the most and no who I am but I also want people with whom I can simply chat idly and have a drink or to. I want to be on good terms with those around me and be able to not find any particularily disgusting fault in them. I want this... but I want my other life too.

Gin's English teacher asked us a favour. A friend of hers will interview us for her Psychology College Class Study, because she wanted an interview of two friends from different upbringings. Gin and me couldn't have been more different...

Somehow this fills me with joy.

And I'm going to set up a World of Darkness chronicle for Marissa and Justin and Colin and Daniel and ...

I have no words.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Not sure what I am...

I jsut remembered something. Something I read once. That if you do not give from the heart you draw nothing from the heart of others. I suppose that marks the dissatisfaction with my writing of late. That I haven't committed as I did before with works like Faust and Nora's Letter. I have poured small doses of my soul into the things I am doing, not the whole overwhelming stream as happened with Elaine.

But I don't know, even with cool calm technique I manage to please myself if subtly. I was rereading the chapters of Ghenna Opened and they are not as bad as I remember.

One would think that so much free time this last week would have given me but a second to spare here. I should have come earlier and not left it for the last rushed days of holiday, where we seek, desperately rest and relaxation. I've been sleeping and not-worrying and I suppose that rests me more than anything else could.

We start school again on Monday and though I think wistfully of all the free time to write and create I have been bored enough to welcome it cheerfully.

I am tired now and thinking of the time wasted that I should be using for writing. Tomorrow I go back to homework and the brief snatches of moments for my personal things.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Just to prove what everyone has known all along...

Ulaenyth is your Vampire name.
You are the ultimate evil Vampire. World
domination is not just a goal for you, but a
near-reality. You have killed Humans for doing
less than coughing in your company.
To use your new Vampire name and become a Vampire,
go here:

What is your Vampire name?
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